Now, Yesterday and Tomorrow By Z.S

Now, Yesterday and Tomorrow

By Z.S

   I wish I could reverse the time and undo some of the things that I have done. I should have studied a bit harder and maybe married a little later when I got enough money to really support the marriage. My family’s life will probably be better than it is now. Now it’s a little too late for regrets. I am just an ordinary soul who works as a postman in the city of opportunity in which I couldn’t find. I am in a sacred bond for 6 years now and been blessed with 5 wonderful children. They are the one who keeps me motivated, making me strive harder each day working to make them feel complete so they will be able to feel for themselves the word, “happiness” even though the truth does not seem to agree.

   It is time for that “time” again. It is the moment when school is about to be reopen after the long holiday, the month of calculating which always end with a “sigh”. And as always, my wife and I would stay up all night thinking and planning about the children’s school finance. Time to decide either we should buy them new school equipment or should they be reusing the old one which years of service I can’t recall. Suddenly, I started to remember something which happens in the past exactly at this time, 3 years ago. I remember it perfectly, every details as if it just happened yesterday. It was a cold night. My wife had prepared strong black coffee with no sugar added for me as she sat beside me giving me strength and words of wisdom which she has. These words of wisdom do not come from education but from the harsh reality of life experiences. Giving me comfort and strength as I am about to go through a severe breakdown. Our financial was not so good that year same as any other year. I cannot even afford to buy my children each new pair of shoes as their old one was washed away by the flood which happened earlier that month. I thought that I have and will fail them. How will they go to school next year? How would they face their friends and teacher? How can I make this work? Those questions keep growing in my mind. Tears rolled, rushing down my cheeks like the stream of waterfall falling down hitting the bottom of the river. Somehow, I managed to solve that problem after working overtime for 3 weeks. I step out of the flashback and fell asleep on my wife’s lap.

      Today, as I wake up, I hold myself together and somehow I have gained back all my senses and strength. “Yes”, I said to myself. We as a family have gone through many things in our life and somehow we managed to go on. I am ready for any challenges and obstacle that god has to offer because now I know what I am aiming for. I aim that in the future, my family will live in a complete environment. I want them to feel what other family feels. I want them to be happy. I wished that my children would grow up to be good human beings with good future ahead of them. I would continue to give all my best so that the tomorrow, the future, my aim will be achieved. “Children, I promise you that now, yesterday and tomorrow, I would give all I have in loving you, raising you, providing you until the day finally comes when God decided to take my soul away from this old used up body. When that day finally arrived, I would smile at the angel of death himself because I will know that I had already given my all.